© 2025 Joelle R.
in my dreams, i'm still running down those cold damp stone corridors for what seems like forever
but...forever doesn't last long enough. because in my dreams, i do reach the end of the corridor
and i see her...their...face, unblinking. and three-in-one voices booming all at once
"death to those who dare defy the queen! so it is decreed, and so it shall be!"
and in my dreams, i have to kill you once again
aemilia woke up screaming.
"seven hells..." she whispered to the dark room, once she had oriented herself.
she got up out of bed and went over to her window in her room at cloud nine. the inky black sky over ishgard was just turning inky blue to make way for the rising sun. aemilia sighed.
"well...might as well take a walk now." she threw her overcoat over her nightclothes, laced up her boots, and started her usual morning circuit over the the city's rough cobblestones. she busied her racing mind instead with her latest catches with ansaulme. did the scaleripper really eat dragons like the guidebook said? the one she caught seemed seemed big enough to take a decent bite off of one, at least. maybe next time they'd try some new lures for sky fishing...
she turned over these distractions forever and in no time at all. when her mind finally stopped, she realized the day had won out against the night once again.
"ah. i'd better get back to break my fast or i'll have to hear it from rielle again," aemilia told herself wanly, as she made her way back to the forgotten knight. gibrillont arched his eyebrow slightly at her approach to the stew at the fireplace but just said: "grenat."
"mornin', gibrillont. got some dhalmel going today?" aemilia had mostly adapted to ishgardian fare with her years in the city at this point, but still regarded the tough, gristly beastkin meat with suspicion.
gibrillont grunted in affirmation. he did not look very fondly on his long-term viera tenant at this point. the nights she had spent drunk, weeping and wailing in her corner of the inn until sidurgu had to carry her off to bed, did not earn her much goodwill — even if she was a war hero or somesuch. although her bad days weren't nearly that bad now, aemilia still wondered why she was never hauled off or kicked out of the forgotten knight for good. she had a sneaking suspicion lucia had a chat with gibrillont to make sure she could recuperate in a familiar place. or maybe gibrillont just pitied her.
she ladled a bowl of stew and made her way downstairs, where sid and rielle had empty bowls in front of them on the bar.
"have a good walk, aemilia?" rielle asked briskly. the young elezen had finally started the growth spurt she had been promising would hit, and now measured up to aemilia's chest.
"aye." she touseled rielle's hair, which made rielle stick out her tongue at her. "mornin' sid." the imposing au ra nodded, which was as close as a big welcoming hug as she was going to ever get from her brother-by-choice before he'd properly woken up.
"do you have any fishing plans today, aemilia?" rielle inquired.
"nah. ansaulme's steward finally caught up with him, so he actually has to spend a few suns doing lordly things. heavens forfend."
"well, i was talking with sid..."
"were you now?" sid chimed in. aemilia smiled. she knew her brother cared for her deeply, but a trout had less trouble expressing love and concern for her.
rielle rolled her eyes. "i was talking at sid. i think it would be a good idea for you to find a place that's not this shitehole inn to spend your days."
aemilia wasn't surprised by this suggestion, and even agreed with it on the surface, but protested nonetheless. "but i like this shitehole. you two are here."
"aemilia, we'll always be here for you." she looked over to sid for affirmation. he nodded imperceptibly in agreement. "but the empyreum just opened up and it would be good for you to find a place that you can actually call your own."
rhalgr's beard, aemilia thought. she had not had a place to call her own in...five years now? when she was still living with her adoptive parents? it was a bit of a daunting prospect. but she knew rielle spoke true.
"aye... you're right as always, sis," aemilia admitted, and rielle glowed. "i'll make inquiries around the free companies to find a room to lease out. twelve know i won't be actually able to find a plot of my own with how many end up entering the housing lottery," aemilia groused between spoonfuls of greasy stew.
"thank you, aemilia. i know you've been ready to do that," rielle said gently, then continued. "and one more thing...when's the last time you've talked to anybody that doesn't spend time at this shitehole?"
aemilia frowned. how much time had passed since she made the long trip back from bozja? the haze she had been in made this difficult to answer. she debriefed with some grand company officers after getting off the boat from kugane in limsa, so she imagined word got out but...maybe not. did people even know she was still alive?
rielle touched aemilia's arm gently after she had been lost in thought for what felt like forever. "sis...people will want to hear from you."
"but..." aemilia's voice wavered. "i don't even know how long it's been. people will be upset that they hadn't heard from me."
"you know godsdamn well that isn't true," sid had finally piped up. rielle's eyebrows practically raised up into her hairline but took the surprise emotional support assistance in stride otherwise. "he's right, sis. your friends, everyone you fought with to free your home...they'll just be happy to hear from you."
gods, if it's so obvious that sid has to tell me, i really need to get my shite together, aemilia smiled to herself. "alright...how should i get started?"at this, rielle produced a handsome blue fountain pen, a wax-sealed inkwell, and what looked like good quality paper from seemingly nowhere. "i'm so glad you asked, aemilia. you can write them with these."
aemlia's eyes widened. "rielle, these are beautiful. how did you afford these?"
sid grunted, and rielle stuck her tounge out at him. "well, you know. now that i'm tall enough," she puffed up at these words, "i'm starting to take up the sword and i thought it would be a good idea to take some leves as part of my training. well. sid might have had to be dragged along too."
"sis, what a wonderful gift. thank you." aemilia's eyes started to tear up, and leaned in to give her a big hug. when they released each other, aemilia said, "okay...i promise that i will go find a room to rent in empyreum today, and then i will talk to elaisse at the market about having a desk delivered so i can start catching up with people again. how's that?"
rielle nodded happily. "so, who are you going to write first?"
aemlia's mind swam with possibilities. lyse would want to hear from her, of course, but she feared the resultant fussing about her well-being. arenvald or j'moldva were safer bets. she had no idea about how a letter could reach x'ruhn tia at this point, considering he was always on the move. she smiled bemusingly at the thought of fordola getting a letter from her and immediately throwing it in a fire. but one face eventually settled at the forefront of her mind.
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