© 2025 Joelle R.
aemilia's writing is neater than one would expect; somewhat messy script but still legible. her ishgardian adoptive parents did their best to teach her letters and it mostly stuck. her sentences meander and she tends to misspell words semi-frequently.
dear m'naago,
gods, where to begin? "hello," seems as good a place as any. i'm not sure how long it's been since we've last talked. three years, maybe? i'm not sure if people over in ala mhigo know that i returned from bozja, as i have been convalescing in ishgard the past year. i'm trying to reach out to friends and comrades in ala mhigo and yours was the first name i thought, as i miss our chats around the campfire in the reach.
how has ala mhigo been faring? and the provisional government? it's hard to imagine lyse sitting still for meetings all day, but i'm sure she's doing great. most of all, i hope you have been faring well.
all the best,m'naago's writing is a hasty but extremely legible script as a result of many, many letters written on behalf of the lyse and raubahn. she writes with purpose.
dear aemilia,
thank the gods you're alright. i was worried about you, but i wasn't sure how to get in contact with you. word had come in through command that you had returned from bozja via kugane and limsa, but that's all i had heard. were you injured? if the tales that have trickled in from the resistance members that joined you over there are any indication, it sounded like the hells on earth.
as for ala mhigo, she's been doing well in our care. it's been hard work, but the damage to the walls from successive sieges has largely been mended, and the roads are safer than ever. (what looks like the word 'commander' is hastily scribbled out) lyse is doing her damnedest to herd coeurl and get village elders to do…hells, just about anything (there's what looks like an ink splotch, from writing with force) to improve the state of things in our home. that's bloody politics for you. i'm just happy to help take things off of lyse and raubahn's plate when i can.
how fares ishgard? i think you should come see what we have accomplished while you were away. i know lyse and myself would love to show you.
yours in rhalgr,dear m'naago,
it was very nice to receive your letter. thank you for the updates about ala mhigo. i miss both you and our home terribly. although i did not have much opportunity to enjoy the fruits of our labour before i had to leave for werlyt and bozja, ala mhigo has always been on my mind. i'm glad you and lyse are managing to whip some sense into those old men.
ishgard feels like it always has; as solid and unchanging as the stones its walls are hewn from. at the same time, the winds of change are blowing through. i imagine you know more of the lord commander than i do — i only know him by reputation, and have mostly had dealings with his second-in-command (she is severe to most but seems to have a soft spot for me; my natural charms, surely) — but his reforms are taking root, for better or for worse. while the church has lost its grip on the city and parliament has passed reforms, angry mobs have been dragging clergymen and members of the scholasticate out to beat them in public. my sister sidurgu and i had to get in the middle of one such incident. while we empathize with vigilantism as dark knights, there's a not-so-fine line to be had between meting out justice and beating innocents in the streets. the whole city is on edge, to be honest. hilda ware and the city watch extremely have their work cut out for them. i do not envy her or the lord commander.
in more pleasant news from here, after much encouragement from my sister rielle, i have rented my own apartment for the first time in the recently restored firmament district. it's odd having a place to call your own when you've been wandering for the better part of ten years. ishgard is perhaps the closest thing i have to a home away from ala mhigo; the cold doesn't always agree with me, and the food is sometimes even worse than the gridanian fare i grew up on, but i have my family-by-choice here. they are as dear to me as the ones who raised me.
my friend ansaulme and i recently took an airship to the sea of clouds for a fishing excursion. we were staying with folk called the zundu, who share our enthusiasm for skyfishing and generously gave us many opportunities to learn more. did you know that there's sharks that live in the clouds that travel in packs within funnels of violent air? ishgardian naturalists — (aemilia goes on about tornado sharks for nearly an entire sheet of parchment. she expresses the want to see the legendarily terrible lominsan play about them with m'naago if they ever have the opportunity).
ah, but i've avoided the subject overlong. bozja was (there is a large ink blotch indicating where a pen set for a long time) a difficult time for me. i have struggled greatly with the aftermath of my time there. i have physical scars, of course, but the emotional ones run much deeper. i fear it may be too much to detail at this point in the letter; if you wish, my next can better describe the events that transpired.
with all that being said, i would very much like to go back to our home after i've had a bit more time to recover.
best,dear aemilia,
i'm glad to hear about you finding your own place to rest your head. you always talked about wanting to sleep in your own bed at night and i'm happy to hear your sister encouraged you to do so. i would have done the same.
i don't know if you ever expressed such passion about a subject ere we talked like you did describing your fishing trip in your last letter. it's very (this is underlined thrice) endearing. alas, my duties will not allow me to leave for limsa lominsa just to see a show. maybe if the draumaturges see fit to visit a restored ala mhigo, we could go see this fishy stage play.
do not feel like you have to talk about bozja if it is too difficult a subject. i pulled some more reports from our people who were there to have a better grasp of what you might have gone through. what i read second-hand about save the queen's mass tempering and auracite transforming men into beasts chilled my blood. i can't imagine what you went through, but can only offer whatever comfort i can give through a sympathetic ear.
i'm not sure if you have other obligations after you're done recuperating, but at the last council meeting, (this time just the 'co' of an abortive 'commander' is crossed out) lyse received approval to start a sort of state-of-the-state photographic report to document the farther-flung reaches of gyr abania that might have fallen through the cracks after we kicked the empire out. would this be something you would be interested in helping with? arenvald is already enthusiastically on board, and will be doubly so if you are able to join him. if your eye for documenting detail in your last letter is any indication, we will be sure to receive a very detailed report. (m'naago has doodled a tiny miqo'te with spiky hair grinning to show some light teasing on her part.)
i will be forward with my full intentions. i do think you would be one of the best people to help with this. your history as a displaced ala mhigan, your eye for detail, your kindness and patience with villagers as we pushed out the empire, and your ability to put down wildlife and monsters that would stymie others we might send put you at the top of any list we might put together. i do have an ulterior motive, though. i want lyse to offer this opportunity to you so i can see you again. i've had a lot of time to think about you these past three years, and my heart aches to think about you never returning now that i have heard from you again. if you do not feel the same, that's okay; but i feared i had missed the opportunity to say how i feel about you as we parted on your way to werlyt. regardless of your feelings about me, i do think you should consider this offer from lyse, if only to see the home we have worked so hard for.
yours in rhalgr,dear naago,
i was so happy to read your last letter. truth be told, i turned into a blushing, stammering mess as i read it for rielle after the postmoogle dropped it off. i feel the same way — our parting was just as painful for me. at the same time, i can't help but feel so sad about your words, and it has to do with what happened in bozja. this is hard for me to talk about, but i wish to be completely open for your sake.
i met a wonderful woman named isolde covey while i was in bozja. she was a member of gunnhildr's blades that also hailed from dalmasca. we had a certain kinship; her family fled from bozja to lea monde, as my parents went to ala mhigo. we spent a lot of time together…she taught me songs from dalmasca, bozja, and nagxia, and i told her about all my travels around eorzea. i sang the songs she taught me as she accompanied on her harp bow. she was the first woman whom i told that that i loved, and we promised to return to dalmasca together after bozja was freed.
i'm sure your reports have given you an idea of what may have happened, so i need not go into detail about what happened to most of gunnhildr's blades. suffice to say, i was part of the contingent that was sent to delebrum reginae to put a stop to misija. (several attempts at the next sentence are crossed out.) we had to destroy what remained of isolde that day.
i've grappled with the guilt from these events heavily this past year. should it have been me in her place? could i have done more to try to save her? useless bloody questions after useless bloody questions. when i first started training on the path of the dark knight under sidurgu, he told me about a phrase the man he used to train with repeated when sid struggled with his own helplessness and guilt:
"do not seek forgiveness, for it will not ease the burden. it weighs as it should."
i never really had a good handle on what he meant or why sid told me this until this past year. before bozja, i never had too much of a reason to grapple with my own actions. i've done terrible things…i've cut down more men than i care to think about, but their faces only started to haunt me more recently. learning how to carry the burden of what i've done — not only to the men i've killed, but especially to the first woman i declared my love to — has put me on the path that i'm on, for better or for worse. nobody else can forgive me in order to keep going, because i need to forgive myself. this is what i have been doing in ishgard this past year…learning how to forgive myself.
(i never asked sid much about this man whose words still reverberate through time long after his return to the lifestream. i think i would have liked to meet him. or perhaps not.)
these are all my cards on the table, naago. if you still wish to think of me as fondly as our days fighting for ala mhigo's freedom together and if you would have me as i am — broken and guilty and, plainly, a huge bloody mess — then i would be happy to accept this offer from lyse and meet with you in rhalgr's reach as we did those years ago. if not, then i have still enjoyed exchanging letters with you and hope we can continue to do so.
aemilia
(the next letter accompanied a rather hefty parcel from m'naago.)
dear aemilia,
i'd like to think after how many bereavement letters i've had to write to families that i would have words to express my sympathies. none of them are worth a damn for me to try to comfort someone i care for who lost someone dear to them. i'm so sorry, aemilia.
i'll keep my thoughts brief, because there's only so much i can say. i'll have you however you are. hells, i'm broken too. but we'll be two broken, bloody messes and we'll lift one another up. i'll be there for you, my dear aemilia, if you'll be there for me.
yours,p.s.,
i've included with this letter various things our now up and running industries have been making, in hopes a taste of home will bring you comfort. i'm a particular fan of this arak, and the salt should be nice to preserve fish with. i've also included some handmade fishing lures. i asked the reach's resident goldsmiths to try to teach me how to make them. i'm bloody useless with my hands, but they looked over my work and they think it's satisfactory. hopefully i'll have the chance to improve over time.
p.p.s.
don't feel pressured, but i've also included a linkpearl if you'd like to talk more outside of letters. i want to keep writing you but…i also miss the sound of your voice. do try to call me after sundown or you risk interrupting yet another old man telling lyse and i why we can't repair a blown up building.
epilogue
(this letter is on quality vellum instead of parchment, sealed with purple wax imprinted with the griffin of ala mhigo. lyse's personality shines in her handwriting — it's very loose and freeflowing, and one would suspect would be much less legible if she didn't have to write so many official letters.)
15th sun of the second astral moonon behalf of the provisional government of ala mhigo, i would like to formally offer you the position of adventuring reporter for the "preserving the history of the outlying territories of gyr abania" initiative. duties include writing regular reports, documenting with a garlond ironworks mark iii rangefinder camera, and martially defending oneself and citizens of ala mhigo if necessary. the expected pay is included in the addendum to this letter; additional stipends to cover inns and travel expenses will also be included.
please send your response by the 1st sun of the third astral moon if you are interested. contact my second-in-command, m'naago rahz, if you have any additional questions about this position.
yours in rhalgr,
lyse hextoh my GODS aemilia! i have SO much to talk to you about when you get here. i'm so excited to see you again! also!!! you and naago, finally!!! you two made such lovey eyes at each other at every opportunity, my gods. i never thought i would see the day because you two seemed so bloody hopeless about expressing your feelings back then.
anyway, i'll have to see about arranging a homecoming dinner when you arrive! see you soon!
your friend,