© 2025 Joelle R.
it was a rare quiet night in the southern front, with nary a gunship buzzing overhead or explosion in the distance. i think the garleans had some such holiday celebrating the late emperor solus, and were off to sniff his dead arse or some such.
i looked at you from my patch of dirt on the other side of the campfire, flames dancing on your face. you looked fierce and beautiful, as always.
we sat in relative silence that night, stealing glances to each other instead of filling the night with songs of our homelands. eventually you broke the spell, tilting your head, clearly needing to say something that had a hold on you for the moons we'd known each other.
"aemilia, why are you always smiling?"
"hah, is THAT your burning question? my friend lyse asked me that once, ya know."
"oh?" you laughed your deep laugh. "what did you tell her?"
"i deflected, of course! we were waiting for word from raubahn to start the assault on castellum velodyna and i was nervous enough to shite my trousers." you roared with laugher. "but i will tell you what i left unsaid."
"i think i was about ten-and-four summers. as ala mhigo fell, my parents had handed me off to some the resistance members who were trying smuggle as many youths as they could away from the empire. i can't forget the face of the highlander man to whom i was handed off, along with two other youths he was smuggling, under the cover of night and the old trees near the border. he couldn't have been older than two and a half score summers, but his face was already deeply lined and scarred. he had a certain brightness in his eyes and a gentle smile on his face that put us at as much ease as could be allowed, given the circumstances."
"for a mercy, the trek through the forest was uneventful. we emerged into the twelveswood, ready to be handed off to some very weary-looking fellow refugees."
"out of my companions that night, i must have looked the most scared shiteless, because he looked at me and gave me that smile, making it look like the easiest thing in the world. he squatted down to look me in the eye."
"'at ease, lad,' he said. (i grinned at you when your eyebrows raised slightly. "even people that regularly see viera youths have trouble figurin' out their gender. i can't fault him for that. 'sides, i still get that to this day. i did not get much of nophica's bounty," i said, grabbing my tunic over my flat chest. you laughed uproariously again.) 'i cannae lie to ya. it's going ta be hard over here, but yer safe now. the people here will be suspicious of ya, and try to deny you yer humanity. to hells with 'em. give 'em a smile in good times and ill. they cannae take that from ya.' he tousled my hair for good measure, and disappeared into the night towards the wall."
"i took that to heart, i s'pose. i always found myself smiling through all sorts of times. people that would have otherwise hated me found it disarming, and the people who i care for have found it reassuring."
you smiled ruefully. "i see. well, far be it for me to deny such a bright smile in the worst of times," you said, gesturing around at the barren landscape "but you don't need to for my sake, my silly bunny."
i feigned outrage, "i am NOT a bunny, madam! we rava are a proud and ancient people…we had magnificent cities of the forest long before the dynast-king was even a twinkle in his grandfather's eye! bunny indeed…"
you grinned impishly. "really? you weren't quite so proud when i was stroking your fuzzy ears last night…you were clay in my hands, as i recall."
i sputtered something incoherently while you laughed by the fire some more.
as we settled down, i continued. "but noted. i appreciate the support, as always. it's just…hard for me to let my guard down." i offered a half-smile with a palms-out gesture.
you got up from the other side of the fire to mine, and gave my hand a squeeze. "of course." as our gazes met, you said what we had both thought since our first night together at a campfire. "i love you, aemilia."
i flushed but didn't sputter this time. "i love you too, isolde." i squeezed your hand tighter. i thought it was time to finally say what i was thinking, too. "i…i want to go back to dalmasca with you when this is all over."
you looked like i had just offered you the world. "let's do it. i want to show you where my songs come from. but only if you bring me to ala mhigo, as well." and you locked your arm in mine and put your head on my shoulder, our easy silence returning, only to be punctuated by the crackling of the campfire.